Radiation Update

The fatigue is no worse than before I started the radiation, when it was stress that was tiring me out. The last couple of nights I've slept poorly (and I had to wake up early to go to the Survivor's Breakfast yesterday morning).

I've been having my "packing dreams" again. The set up varies but there's always a bunch of stuff that needs to be packed, cleaned up, organized or otherwise dealt with, and whenever I think I'm done, I turn around and there's more stuff. Last night I was packing up my belongings at the end of a cruise and apparently I had rooms all over the ship (for which I was having trouble finding the keys.)

Yesterday afternoon was the second day in a row that I went into Daniel's room to check on his homework progress and he was asleep. Later I checked on him again and he got weepy, telling me that he was feeling overwhelmed. I asked if he was depressed and he said probably. I asked if he wanted to talk to someone (and I'm meeting with the gal who arranges services at the cancer center about meeting with a therapist myself), he said he wanted to. He's got a lot of stressors right now, with the change from his cozy magnet school, and the upheaval from changing schools and then changing some classes, plus my illness under it all. Even though on an intellectual level, we all believe I'll be fine, our subconciouses are probably sitting in a corner trembling and crying.

Coming down the hall to hang with us in the family room while he worked helped. He spoke with the teacher today at lunchtime, he's OK to finish the spark notes tonight and meet with the teacher tomorrow at lunch with his questions about the essay, and then he'll have the weeked to finish it. He came home in a really good mood and feels more in control of his schoolwork.

The yoga teacher knew something was off with me today, and pretty soon it was all pouring out of me. You know, if something happens to me, Blair will be OK, he's a grown up and he can take care of himself - but I worry about my boys. They both love me so much.  And Alex doesn't have a father he can turn to - he and Blair care for each other, but it's not the same as having had a father who's been involved his whole life. My poor babies.