Good News

I got a call from the oncologist. The oncotype test came back with a very low score for recurrence (8 out of 100). This means there's no need for chemo. Next step is to see him to work out a treatment plan, and get started with radiation.


The additional scan was a bone density scan, for a base line so they can keep track of the density as I take tamoxifen or whatever for the next several years.

Support

There's so much cool support type stuff for breast cancer patients at my hospital. I've been to 2 (very gentle) yoga classes so far, and today I went to a session about post-operative stuff and afterwards to a support group that meets twice a month. The yoga teacher told me about free massage therapy and I'm waiting for the callback from the gal who's setting me up.

The ladies at the support group were lovely.

Oncologist

This morning, a friend stopped by with yummy donuts and muffins and we had a nice chat. She even got to meet my Mom who came to pick me up to take me to the oncologist (Blair met us there, his work is across the street from the hospital). It was wonderful to see my friend and she looks terrific.

I'm still pretty sore from the surgery and plenty bruised up too. I had a bad reaction to the tape and have blisters around the edges of where it was. I now have something to remember when I'm asked about allergies to medications, etc (tegaderm?).

We had a long talk with the doctor - I really liked his manner and personality. He gave us a little biology lesson about cancer and breast cancer in particular, and what they know so far about mine. Unfortunately, they don't have the pathology report from the lumpectomy yet, so there isn't a concrete plan yet. There will definitely be radiation, most probably tamoxifen for several years after my treatment is complete, and there's about it seemed a 40% chance that he will recommend chemo as well. He explained everything very clearly but not at all in a condescending way. I feel really comfortable with him. His office is contacting my surgeon about getting the reports from the lumpectomy when they are available, and there is a test he wants performed on the tumor, if Dr Ward hasn't already ordered it. So it may be a couple of weeks more until we have all the information we need to make a plan going forward.

Mom and I went to lunch afterwards and it was nice to chat (although it was more like verbal diarrhea on my part and listening on hers - thanks Mom!) Now I'm back home with my puppy sleeping by my feet, and I need to call the surgeon and see if I'm allowed to drive and if it's OK to go to the yoga class at the cancer center tomorrow.

Surgery

We were at the hospital from 8:00 till after 5:00. They feel they were able to get good margins when they removed the cancer but won't know until they get the pathologist report on Thursday.

Yoga at the Swim Center

This morning I made it to the free yoga class at the hospital. It was lovely and the teacher (and the other participants) was really nice and sweet. At the end, she recited something while we all tried to meditate, and I felt a little teary. Another gal started to cry (it turned out she'd had to put her dog to sleep last night). I went over to tell her I'd started to cry to (so she wouldn't feel weird) and she told me about her dog, and the next thing I know I'm rubbing her arms and giving her hugs. I felt so badly for her loss.

Another lady, with sparse white hair, was looking at these cute little knitted caps the teacher had (kind of a flapper style with a big knitted flower) and admiring a tan one. When she asked how much they were (she wanted something warmer than a ball cap for the winter) the teacher told her folks at her church had knitted them and they were free. By this time, there's just me, the teacher, the crying lady and her husband, and the hat lady. The teacher was asking about the surgery, and saying she'd be thinking of me, and then offered me a shawl that was also knit by ladies from her church. It's a cream tweedy yarn with earthy shades of pink and lavender (it's really lovely), and it came with a poem. She put it over my shoulders and had the other ladies touch my back while I closed my eyes and she read the poem. I got a little teary again, but it was very sweet. Then they all wished me luck, and reassured me I'd be calmer once I had the surgery and the results and a plan.

Afterward, I went to the mall, picked up prescriptions at Target, had lunch and picked up a couple of CDs and a new pair of cozy PJs. Then I went to a nail salon and had a mani-pedi and a little massage. I feel quite a bit calmer than I did this morning. We're going to have to get up pretty early tomorrow to get to Greenwich by 8. The xanax helped last night, I had a good night - hopefully I'll sleep tonight as well.

Dumbledore is much better, he's off the meds and back to his old self, frisky and silly. He was savaging a rubber chicken this morning. (I love when he has something in his mouth and whips his head back and forth - he's such a nut). He's also been extra cuddly lately.

Freak Out

So I burned my hand on the oven rack last night (no more pain by this AM, but a small blister, so nothing major) and the next thing I know I'm having a full blown freak out, crying and shaking, right before Blair had to leave for chorus rehearsal. I think I'm most worried about the financial situation - and it's not completely dire, at worst we'd have to put most of our stuff in storage and rent until we figure out where we're going next, which we could swing on Blair's salary and my unemployment. But it felt last night like I was poised at the edge of a deep dark hole.

Blair comforted me and I knew I could have asked him to stay home, but this is his one leisure activity and he needs a break (and it felt nice knowing I could ask him.) By the time he got home, I felt better - I think it helped to let off some steam.

This morning I had a chat with the hospital. I had thought they were billing me because they didn't have the correct insurance info for September. Turns out all the bills were for events in August and they'd already been submitted to the correct insurance, so they were for our share of the bills. Ugh.

I had to run down to Greenwich this afternoon to drop off my films with my surgeon. (It took about an hour each way with traffic). They gave me the lowdown on where and when, and when to stop eating, etc. The upcoming surgery is getting more real.

I had lunch with a friend this afternoon - we ended up chatting for like 2 and a half hours. That was really nice.

I have to be at the hospital at 8AM on Friday for the thing with the dye to find the sentinel nodes. Then I get to wait around until noon or so for the actual surgery, and we'll be going home right afterward. I asked if I could take a xanax that morning, but she said no, but that they'll give me some sort of sedative before the thing with the dye (that's actually bothering me more than the surgery). The whole idea icks me out.

She offered to schedule me tomorrow for the dye thing, but I wanted Blair to be there with me without having to take the time off, so that's why everything is getting done on Friday.

After spending yesterday in my pajamas, and napping a lot, I was out most of the day (between lunch and the drive to Greenwich) so there was no napping today. I was thinking of taking a xanax at bedtime tonight (and tomorrow night too) so I can hopefully sleep well and avoid napping tomorrow. There's a yoga class at the hospital at 10 tomorrow that I want to go to - I've got to stop vegetating on my couch all day.